IMRADIO

Mary 'ad a little pig
She couldn't stop it gruntin'
She took it down the garden path
And kicked its f**king hed in!!!!!

Spider, spider on the wall.
Ain't you got no sense at all?
Can't you see the walls been plastered?
Now you're stuck you silly b**tard

Mary had a little lamb -
she also had a duck.
I bet you thought this rhyme was rude!
It’s not - you’re out of luck.

Rock-a-bye baby on the tree top,
when the wind blows, the cradle will rock.
I was that baby, and what bothers me
is why Mam and Dad stuck me up a tree!

Mary had a little lamb -
the doctor was surprised.
When Old Macdonald had a farm,
the doctor nearly died!

Hickory dickory dock,
the reindeer ran up the clock.
The clock collapsed.

Goosey Goosey Gander,
where shall I wander?
Upstairs, downstairs,
in the torture chamber.
Once I met a naughty lad
who tried to raid the fridge.
I gave him concrete overshoes
and threw him off a bridge.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won a grand with Claims Direct.

It's Raining, It's Pouring.
Oh ****, it's Global Warming.

Mary had a little lamb
her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
between two chunks of bread.

Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man
'What have u got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simon
Pies you dickhead.

Mary had a little lamb
it ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its arse
and turned its wool to nylon.

Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
he kissed them too cause he was gay.

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass
and grabbed her ass
Now two of his teeth are missing.

Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white and wispy.
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
And now it's black and crispy.